my hardest fight
9/09/2024
Before I turned a year old, I thought my hardest fight would be keeping myself from vomiting up my dinner, or my intestines.
By the time I was 7, I thought my hardest fight would be enjoying the world without walking on grass, hanging off trees, or smelling flowers.
By the time I turned 10, I thought my hardest fight would be spending time outside my house while avoiding the thousands of foods that could put me into anaphylactic shock, if I dared to step within 20 feet of dairy, or tree nuts, or any fish or...
By the time I turned 14, I thought my hardest fight would be socializing in a car-dependent suburbia without stepping foot into a high school.
By the time I turned 16, I thought my hardest fight would be fitting in with other teenagers who are still in school, with friends they can make eye contact with and steal clothes or homework from; or shit, fitting in with the adults I meet with twice a week to get blamed and ostracized for my performance at a video game.
By the time I turned 17, I thought my hardest fight would be moving forward without her; or maybe being a girl to anyone other than myself.
Now I'm 18, and I know my hardest fight is staying connected to the part of me that knows I'm worth living for. The light in me that deeply acknowledges that as long as I'm on my own side, I can win any fight.
Now I'm 18, and I know that the most difficult fight I will ever endure is the fight to let each and every part of who I am and what I've been through shine relentlessly through every word I speak. Every step I take, every expectation I surpass, every mistake I make, and every person I hurt.
Let it be known that even if you have never heard my name, or think it's still Gabe... I will make myself worth being, by pushing for everybody who has ever gone through an inch of what I have to get a mile of what they deserve.
What about you?